Threading DEI into My Role as a School Psychologist

Accepting that we do not know can be humbling and is a valuable place to start. I remember when Cadence Pentheny, Community Educator from Triangle Community Center, who is a knowledgeable expert on LGTBQ+ topics and led two presentations on campus, noted how much they are frequently unaware of the latest terminology and language and are always catching up. I reassured myself that it is okay to feel challenged by this if such an expert is constantly challenged by it as well. While unsettling, discomfort –in this case about not knowing something– often does not signal danger but rather an opportunity to lean in and grow. I strive to make use of these opportunities in my efforts to ensure that all members of our community can feel understood and supported. 

In order for individuals to feel supported, they need to feel heard and valued. Our recent use of restorative practices to facilitate conflict resolution has provided those opportunities. The practice places relationships at the forefront of the solution and values listening as an integral piece to healing when someone has been harmed. My collaboration with Kojo Clarke and other colleagues in using this approach to help students address mistakes, mend hurt feelings, and work through difficult points in their relationships has been incredibly impactful. Often we do not realize the baggage that we are carrying in our relationships and the assumptions we make based on that baggage, which keep us stuck. The ongoing work to help people truly listen to one another and promote healing through accountability, connection, and empathy enables growth for all involved.

There are a plethora of ways in which we as Country School educators raise awareness of others’ experiences in an effort to foster compassion and empathy both directly and indirectly during school. In lessons and assemblies that focus on empathy across grade levels, what comes to light is that welcoming other perspectives, ideas, and experiences allows us to make room for not only learning and growth but deeper connection and joy. In the Middle and Upper Schools, where recent conversations and activities have centered around inclusivity during THRIVE periods and Life Skills classes, students identified that inclusivity looks like “seeing happiness in another person”. Whether the medium is a lesson, assembly, morning meeting, individual conversation about a personal conflict, dialogue about a current issue, community service project, analysis of a character in a book, or class discussion regarding others’ experiences through a particular content area, there are countless opportunities to encourage children to try to empathize with what someone else is feeling. Our work in understanding ourselves and each other in order to foster a caring community and strong sense of belonging for all continues and is evolving. For example, we are expanding our use of “circles”, which serve as a forum for interpersonal connection, to help students recognize their own abilities to create and contribute to inclusive spaces. This promotes skills that students can take with them beyond NCCS. 

Last year at the end of the seventh grade Human Growth and Development Unit, which addresses the changes that humans experience during puberty, students shared what they learned. Some of those insights included that they had not realized how much some people go through during puberty, and they would try not to judge other people since no one ever knows what someone else is dealing with on a particular day. If we as adults can help young people sharpen their empathy and these perspective-taking skills, we will sow the seeds of compassion that will enhance their relationships with others, future careers, and daily contributions to their community and society, thereby creating a strong foundation for truly leading lives of impact and purpose, as our Mission clearly states.