Diversity, Equity & Inclusion

New Canaan Country School sixth grade student Juliet Chattaway’s essay was among the 15 winning essays selected by U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy in his seventh annual "Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Essay Challenge." The Senator recognized all of the winners at a ceremony held in Middletown, Sat. Feb. 11.

New Canaan Country School celebrated the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with age-appropriate curricular activities and alumni reflections culminating in divisional community gatherings, Jan. 13.

by Lisa Pannone-Bria, P'24, P'28

Early in the fall, at a Parent DEI Task Force Zoom meeting, we discussed the recent LGBTQ+ campus event we hosted. I eagerly listened to my fellow members and then shared my own positive thoughts, particularly about Cadence, our facilitator. Kojo Clarke, our DEI Director, spoke next. His words, directed to me, were a gentle reminder that Cadence uses the pronoun “they.” Anyone who knows Kojo knows he could not have been nicer in the reminder. Nonetheless, for a brief moment, I was mortified. But then, just as quickly, I reeled myself back in by remembering the Task Force is a judgment free space where we always assume each other’s best intentions. 

The Festival of Books just ended, and I had the enormous benefit of having a front row seat to the Festival because of the DEI Office’s location in Grace House. So I want to introduce this edition of the Newsletter with a few observations I made about teamwork and education:

- Our parent/guardian volunteers truly pour their hearts into the contributions they make at NCCS. From the intricate patterns they created with folded book pages (from abandoned books which had been rescued and creatively repurposed) to the well-laid out paths between the thoughtfully laid out book stacks, to even how the constant vigilance from Volunteers ensured that the Festival felt as fresh and well-stocked on Day 3 as it did on Day 1. It was also a reminder of the “invisible” work that happens behind the scenes to make a good community event run smoothly. Facilities members, teachers, staff.  chefs and so many other folks work daily to make things run smoothly at school, and to watch our parents and guardians pour out their energy this way after the last two years of COVID restrictions was another reminder of the generosity and collaborative power within our Community.

by Ashley Ladd, Alumna '06

Over the past few months I’ve been thinking a lot about hope and the personal role it plays in my work in  Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. I recently had the opportunity to deliver the invocation at my alma mater, St. Lawrence University, where I currently sit on the Board of Trustees. I thought about how I could meet this moment with something relevant, thought-provoking and inspirational and as I continued to reflect on the past few years, hope seemed like the perfect reminder and message to deliver. 

by Jackie Britt-Friedman, PsyD, School Psychologist, P'25, P'29 

There is much to gain by coming to the table with an openness to learn, an intent to listen to others’ perspectives without judgment, and compassion. As a psychologist, this is what I strive to do in my own work and also instill in students. Attempting to fully understand another individual’s experience is a complex task. There are so many variables that play a role in how we think, feel, and act. We are all susceptible to falling into the false confidence trap that we have all the information we need, and therefore to stop seeking insights. As soon as one feels like they have got the whole picture, life reminds them that they have a ways to go. As humans we naturally use our past experiences and acquired knowledge to make judgments about new experiences and other people, but at times they can be limiting, off base, and downright unhelpful. We can have more meaningful connections with one another when we are open to not knowing and are willing to consider other perspectives while coming from a place of compassion and empathy.

The Country School Parent DEI Taskforce hosted part 2 of the 2-part series, LGBTQ+101: An Introduction for Parents and Caregivers, Sept. 22. Cadence Pentheny of the Triangle Community Center explored how LBGTQ+ youth in Fairfield County feel as they navigate life in our region in a 45-minute presentation, followed by opportunities for small break out conversations and a Q&A segment.

Our Parent DEI Task Force recently hosted an “LGBTQ+ Support 101” workshop for parents and caregivers in our community presented by Cadence Pentheny from The Triangle Community Center. Approximately 50 participants joined us. In preparation, we asked Upper School students to anonymously share some thoughts with those who would be present. Following are the three questions we asked, and some of their responses: 

On Dec. 3, 2014 I took a leap of faith that had a profound impact on me. I was warned: “POCC will change you…” but I was undaunted by the thought of attending that year’s People of Color Conference (PoCC) in Indianapolis, Indiana. The conference description that year read: “PoCC serves as a clarion call to leverage the unparalleled opportunity for educational excellence that racial, ethnic, and cultural differences present in our schools and in our communities. This conference is also a unique model for leadership development, as it is presented from an all-too-often unexplored vantage point — that of teachers, administrators, staff, and heads of color in independent schools. We are honored you have joined us to share your perspective as well.”

Born the son of two NCCS teachers and administrators, both of whom were liberal in their politics and deeply committed to racial and economic equality, I learned early on about the importance of diversity, equity and inclusion. Thanks to my parents, I never lost sight of this during my 10 years at NCCS, three years at prep school and four years at college.

These values were strengthened when I had lunch with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr in my junior year at Princeton; he was truly brilliant, charismatic and inspiring, and I walked away from that lunch with an increased commitment to continue my parents’ set of values.

Truth be told, for most of my life I never thought of myself as someone that needed to do DEI work. While I tend to adhere to the general principle that there is always more to learn about everything, I think I had subconsciously convinced myself that because I consider myself to be a “good”, non-racist person, DEI was not something I needed to devote my energy to learning more about. 

That all changed for me during the Spring of 2020. I, like so many of us, was home, feeling desperate and helpless about the state of our country and of our world. I was scared about covid and all of the unknowns that came with it, and utterly heartbroken at the racial divide and unrest that came to a head during those critical months.

The New Canaan Country School community celebrated the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. on Jan. 14 in a variety of ways including student assemblies and an alumni panel.

My journey as a mother who works has taken many twists over the past 25 years. I have felt the most supported as a part of the Mothers at Work resource group, which in turn has increased my sense of connection to a broad and diverse community at New Canaan Country School. 

My quest to meld professional ambitions with a commitment to parenting led me to many career experiments from full time to part time work to sabbaticals. I have tried crazy red eye flights to minimize time away from home as well as extending trips and traveling with a child in tow.  I have found ways to time shift aspects of my work so I could be available for family from after school to bedtime hours. I have learned to function on little or fluctuating amounts of sleep and find the humor in it whenever possible. As one of very few women in leadership roles at my firm, I made it my mission not only to define a career path that would work for me, but to also advocate for policy changes that would make it easier for others who would follow.

 

This past November, I attended the Student Diversity Leadership Conference with five of my peers. According to the National Association Alliance of Independent Schools, “The NAIS Online Student Diversity Leadership Conference is a multiracial, multicultural gathering of upper school student leaders (grades 9-12) from across the U.S. and abroad. SDLC focuses on self-reflecting, forming allies, and building community. Led by a diverse team of trained adult and peer facilitators, participating students develop cross-cultural communication skills, design effective strategies for social justice practice through dialogue and the arts, and learn the foundations of allyship and networking principles.”

New Canaan Country School sixth grade student Cameron Ableman’s essay was among the 15 winning essays selected by U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy in his sixth annual "Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Essay Challenge."

“I was particularly inspired by Martin Luther King, Jr.’s resilience in the face of so many hardships and people who didn't believe in him or what he was fighting for,” said Cameron, a resident of Rowayton. “The idea of pushing through tough times and sticking with it until you make it right is something that I can really relate to.” 

To this day, it feels as though I have spent the majority of my life at Country School. I may have moved on through high school, college, and now into the workforce, but I have never remained anywhere for as long as at NCCS. I have such fond memories of the wonderful faculty and staff; events like Deal Days and the Frogtown Fair; field trips to Nantucket and Yellowstone, and best of all, half-day Wednesdays! 

During my time at NCCS, I was fortunate enough to have several faculty and staff work closely with me to further my goals and aspirations. Not only did these teachers express interest in my growth and development, but they consciously contributed to my success and encouraged me to pursue opportunities I once thought to be out of reach. Had I not attended NCCS, I am certain I would not have the determination and work ethic that I pride myself on today.

"People are opting out of vital conversations about diversity and inclusivity because they fear looking wrong, saying something wrong, or being wrong. Choosing our own comfort over hard conversations is the epitome of privilege, and it corrodes trust and moves us away from meaningful and lasting change." ~Brene Brown, Dare to Lead                                                                            

 

Last May, I took a photo of this image. It spoke so powerfully to me about my current mindset in regard to diversity and inclusion conversations. For so long, doubt plagued me. Doubt about my ability. Doubt about saying the wrong thing. Doubt about thinking in my role that I needed to know how to do it all perfectly. Basically, I felt everything author Brene Brown so honestly and poignantly captures in the quote above. So I wrote DOUBT and crossed out the ‘UBT’ and I began the work.