Rooted in a Desire to Learn More
by Nicole Harder, P ‘24, ‘27, ’29, DEI Parent Task Force Member
Truth be told, for most of my life I never thought of myself as someone that needed to do DEI work. While I tend to adhere to the general principle that there is always more to learn about everything, I think I had subconsciously convinced myself that because I consider myself to be a “good”, non-racist person, DEI was not something I needed to devote my energy to learning more about.
That all changed for me during the Spring of 2020. I, like so many of us, was home, feeling desperate and helpless about the state of our country and of our world. I was scared about covid and all of the unknowns that came with it, and utterly heartbroken at the racial divide and unrest that came to a head during those critical months.
I was fortunate to have the opportunity to be a part of a virtual antiracism workshop inspired by the book Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad, during which my entire view of racism was blown wide open – specifically how truly little I knew about any of it. I decided then that I no longer had the choice to stay blissfully unaware. I realized also that as helpless as I often felt, one of the few things I knew I could do during that time was to learn more. I knew I had to choose awareness over unawareness and knowledge over ignorance. While I didn’t know what next steps would look like, I knew that simply feeling like an open-minded, not racist, “good person” was no longer enough for me.
Joining the NCCS Parent DEI Task Force felt like the next logical step. Selfishly, a lot of my intentions and hopes behind joining were rooted in that same desire to learn more. I wanted to advance my knowledge and awareness of issues related to diversity, equity and inclusion, and I wanted to feel like I was doing my part to ensure that my children were going to school in a place that not only values equality and inclusion but that does the work to try to achieve those ideals. The DEI Task Force has not only provided countless learning opportunities for me, but has also deepened my feelings of connection with the NCCS community. I know that there are people, like me, who often feel confused and overwhelmed, but who are wanting and willing to be vulnerable and learn more. This group has given me the opportunity to “gather” in a space where we are all welcome to make mistakes and grow no matter where we’re starting from. I hope even more members of our parent and caregiver community will join us.
While it’s definitely been challenging work at times, whether it be the 21-Day Racial Equity Challenge, our group read and discussion of The Sum of Us by Heather McGhee, or most recently the LGBTQ+ Support 101 for Parents and Caregivers, engaging in these conversations has been some of the most meaningful time I’ve spent as a parent at Country School. To me, DEI is as necessary as anything else we teach our children, and ourselves. DEI is about all of the many things about each and every one of us – the things we can see, as well as what we cannot – and how all of these things come together to make up who we truly are and which shape our individual experiences. It’s not about boxes or labeling, it’s about the countless little pieces that make up each and every one of us and which affect how we walk through this world. I am so grateful that Country School is a place that understands this imperative and strives to be a place where every student feels seen, known, respected and loved, and I am beyond grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of that conversation at NCCS.
New Canaan Country School
New Canaan Country School admits students of any race, color, national and ethnic origin and are afforded all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, age, sex, sexual orientation, national origin or ancestry, or disability in administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, financial aid policies or any other school-administered programs.
