It Might Take a Leap of Faith

As I read over the workshop descriptions, I also readied myself to excel at the role of chaperone to the students attending the Student Diversity Leadership Conference (SDLC). After all, I had been to countless conferences and even dealt with pesky vendors trying to sell me everything in sight. Plus, as a minority I was convinced that I had lived through it all already. “I GOT THIS!” I thought.

I vividly recall the energy in the vast ballroom as I walked into the conference – incredible, positive, and uplifting – in part because Michael Eric Dyson led the opening ceremony.  Attendees expressed all sorts of emotions, but mostly a sense of being at home with people who understood them, often even without a word being said between them. I left the ceremony knowing that I had walked into something truly special.

The Affinity Groups portion of the conference is where I started to understand the common challenges that people of different ethnicities, races and identities were having in their school communities. The common themes expressed were about a lack of a support system where people could feel safe to express concerns with the hope of an actionable positive outcome embraced by their communities and/or a general strategy from institutions to embrace a changing world moving forward. The stories shared were very difficult at times, even for me to hear. I took it all in and returned to my own Country School community exhausted, and not able to fully understand or even share my experience. When asked, I gave my scripted response that made me feel comfortable and safe – everything was great!

I returned to POCC the next year in Tampa, Florida, and came back again feeling exhausted, confused, upset and yet ready to repeat my scripted response – everything was great! – again to feel comfortable and safe. 

Over the years, I have struggled internally to truly digest the experiences of the People of Color Conference. Knowing that others in my community were in a similar situation helped, but my growth was about figuring out what changed for me and what made it so uncomfortable to navigate between my school community and the conference. The challenge for me was confronting the fact that I related to, and had lived through, some of the difficult stories shared. I too had experienced micro/macro aggressions, racism etc., although I hadn’t labeled them in the same way. So I sat and listened, never sharing my own stories. Instead I recalled my experiences as others struggled to tell theirs. I came to acknowledge the fact that during my own experiences, I always avoided confrontation, never gave the situation too much importance, and indirectly allowed people to continue thinking that it was okay to proceed as they had been.

I was fortunate enough to be invited back to PoCC last year. I expected to see growth in some form as I have seen my own community and surrounding ones aggressively tackle the DEI landscape. The difficult stories were still there, but the support channels are now more accessible and equipped to handle different challenges. Seeing that there were people of color in more leadership roles sharing their journeys, successes and challenges while leading and influencing their communities was refreshing. Their courage to be different, to question, to break barriers, to provide channels and opportunities for students, faculty/staff to feel accepted was inspiring.

Upon my return to campus, I had an opportunity to gather in a meeting with some IT colleagues from other schools for a panel discussion. To my surprise the panel was as diverse as those panels at PoCC! The leading members of the group were encouraging and embracing all newcomers to fully engage. The thought that came to mind was that the world around us is changing regardless of how far along we personally are on that journey.

DEI work is extremely challenging as it can shake the foundation of our institutions, what we know and what we feel comfortable with. I invite everyone to take a leap of faith, as I did, to help redefine how we empower our community to take an active role in contributing to a healthy sense of belonging experienced by everyone who walks through our doors.